Internet Dating: A Tool To Build Up the Church?

In 2001 the online dating entrepreneur eHarmony.com boosted of having successful relationships leading to 10,000 marriages in a single year. Online dating was the fad of 2001, eight years later the meager 3% of Americans who searched for a relationship has grown to over 30%. Worldwide the online dating trend has been catching on; people are not looking to the bars night clubs to hook up; they are making honest profile to form real relationships. China has seen the largest growth of 60% annually; with a net worth of over $81 million dollars in 2008. In the US the reports of profits for online dating in 2007 were nearly $900 million dollars. The US has experienced a growth of 16% annually revealing that 90 million people are seeking their relationships online. CNN news calls online dating a sign of the times; claiming people want less first dates and want to have a wider range of people who share similarities, not wasting money on those not worth-while. An interesting trend that has arisen from this dating phenomenon is a return of the idea of match maker with values cultural background and religion leading the list of qualities for a relationship. JDate (for Jewish Singles), Christian Mingle, and Christian Match are the top three most popular website for 2009 dating. The Catholic Church has always encouraged the faithful to date within their religion. During the twentieth century these views were revoked by most as archaic and out dated. Love at first site became the most popular trend, which spiraled into the U.S. statistics that 50% of marriages end in divorce and 97% will be unhappy. Ignoring values, faith, and addictions Americans fell prey to infatuation, 2009 is revealing that people are returning to love. Couples are learning about one another and taking time to make sure that at the base level they share the same core values. Catholic dating website have exploded over the past eight years; Anthony Buono the president of Ave Maria Singles promises “Hope” with the mission of his site “offer a service solely dedicated to helping faithful, practicing Catholics find their future spouse and help them become a better follower of Christ.” Fr. Benedict Groschel has commended Buono in his work and has endorsed the AMS website as great medium for Catholics to build up the Church through solid marriages. I firmly believe that this return to principles prior to relationships is going to help the Church, and save the family. Marriage is built on the graces of God, and the vow of two people from this love abounds. I know that sometimes every relationship goes through a rough spot, but with God and share principles we can build up the Church and have happier families tomorrow.
Ave Maria Singles

Can your marriage use help? Take the Quiz: Exceptional Marriages

Is DOMA Catholic? Or An Invasion On the Church?

The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) defines marriage as a "legal union between one man and one woman for purposes of all federal laws, and provides that states need not recognize a marriage from another state if it is between persons of the same sex." Thirty-nine states have passed legislation and constitutional amendments to protect marriage as the union between one man and one woman. Thirty-five Catholic lawmakers are not backing DOMA; these same lawmakers have a track record of pro-abortion, anti-family voting... One Nation Under God

Catholic Femina Speaks: Is DOMA Catholic? When I first hear about amending the constitution to define "marriage," I thought this was a good thing... After giving it some more thought, I came to the conclusion that this was not to beneficial for several reasons.
First: As a Catholic I do not recognize marriages by the state, only sacramental marriages. Federal rulings on marriage is taking from the Church to give to the state, and I am opposed taking Church power.

Second: Once the government has the power to define marriage, they can redefine marriage to be anything that they want. It is much easier to change existing legislature rather than introduce new stuff.

Third:I know that it is difficult for people to comprehend, but marriage is not a tangible entity, it is a spiritual bond between spouses, only the married couple by their expressed sacrifice of self in marriage validates a marriage not the state. Thus, defining marriage to mean a union between X and Y is pointless because the state cannot know the intentions of the persons involved to validate the marriage.

What It Means To Be A "Catholic Femina"

I have been asked by blogger Salvation Is An Adventure to write the following:

Catholic Femina Speaks: The Women’s role in the Catholic Church… this has been a question that I have been answering regularly for the past seven years. In college I studied Theology, I felt God calling me to learn more about the faith. I loved what I studied and I grew spiritually as a result. Even now I am asked: “you are Catholic, why did you (a woman) study theology?” Then very quickly most people follow with the question, “Do you want to be a priest?” The mass down playing of the woman’s role in the Catholic Church is magnified by the feminist movement. Men and women are equal in the Catholic Church regardless of whether or not a woman can become a priest. Men should be priests because that is God’s plan. It was not a mistake or an over sight, Jesus chose twelve men. This was not a cultural or historical difference that needs correction, because pagan churches of Jesus’ time had priestesses. Christ created the complimentary natures of male and female; He understood the best roles in the Church for each. Men are to be priests and the Church is their bride: the Church is the bride of Christ (Eph. 5:23–32). Women cannot have an ordered relationship as a priest with the Holy Mother Church. Men are to take the Church and protect her as Christ asked St. John to protect Mary while He hung from the cross. The proper role for women in the church is as an image of Mary, she stood at the foot of the cross faithfully. Swords pierced her heart as she shared in the pain that Christ endured; this true spiritual sharing with Christ is a woman’s role in the Church. Women in the gospels fearlessly pursued the truth and Christ. This is not a lesser role to men and despite feminists desire to undermine women’s role in the Catholic Church; woman are integral to the faith. The female nature has a heart open to loving unconditionally and giving selflessly. This sharing of self is unparalleled in the Blessed Mother and should be the goal of all women. Female religious can be truly espoused to Christ and give themselves freely as is ordered in the female nature. Men cannot experience this same espousal to Christ; priests represent Christ in the sacraments, but they cannot have this relationship with Him. In marriage a man and woman co-create with God a child, but it is the woman’s role to carry that child to term and feel the Creator’s hand on her as a new life begins. It is not a man’s nature and it should not be a concern that they cannot do this, because their role is vital as well. This is the same with the Catholic Church, women have an important place and this cannot be ignored or lessened by the male role. Men and Women are complimentary. Their proper ordered roles in the Catholic Church must reflect this and Jesus was not in error when He formed the Church. As a woman when I sit in Mass I feel proud of the heritage of noble Catholic women who through humility espoused themselves to Christ and took their place as His bride. I feel that the role of married and single women in the Church is just as important as they share in union with the priest through their humble ardent desire to fearlessly love and give. Women do not need to be ordained priests or claim titles in their parish because Christ gave them a position. The female role in the Church is honorable and should never be looked down on. It is not ordination that makes saints, following the Gospel plan left by Christ is the clear path. I hope that understanding the importance of women in the Body of Christ will encourage them to courageously give of their talents in ministry, as the women of scriptures, and nobly embrace their place in the Church.

Marriage at the Heart of the Vocations Crisis

In Phoenix, Arizona during the 127th annual Knights of Columbus convention, Archbishop Timothy Dolan of New York pointed out four major problems with the church in America. “The four being the vocation to marriage, the state of Catholic parishes and schools, the great number of lapsed Catholics, and finally the difficulties in a culture desperate to keep the Church and morals out of the public square.” After a few moments the Archbishop pointed out that the well-spring of these problems is the vocations crisis… “We have a vocation crisis to life-long, life-giving, loving, faithful marriage. If we take care of that one, we’ll have all the priests and nuns we need for the church,” Archbishop Dolan said. Pope Benedict XVI has declared this the year of vocations and has focused this dedication on the priesthood. The Archbishop Dolan has redirected this year of prayers to the vocation of marriage. He has told the faithful that if we have good Catholic marriages vocations will be the fruit. So he is trying to use the year of priests as a focus on why we are having a shortage; and heal the root of the problem. “Only 50% of our Catholic young people are getting married,” the Archbishop said. We need to pray for all vocations so that Catholic marriage can begin producing religious again. CNA

Catholic Femina Speaks: the term “Vocations” is a very misunderstood term. Most of the time people only understand this exclusively as a “religious vocation;” while in reality it is anything that a person does for the glory of God. Every person should pursue a vocation, but most only seek a career. A career as a means of personal stability on earth, and they are not living out a vocation for the glory of God. Marriage needs to be understood as a vocation, just as every other life goal. This will begin the healing process of Catholic families. The call to a vocation should be the first driving factor and parents need to help their children learn how to listen for God so that their vocation is not drowned out by the world. “Religious vocations” are a means to glorify God, but so are the married life, single life, and careers. So we as Catholics must take the Archbishop’s suggestion and heal the base for vocations the married life so that all other vocations can flourish.

Christopher West leads Faithful to God?

A well known moral theologian Fr. Maurizio Faggioni, OFM, a professor at the top pontifical institute for moral theology, the Pontifical Academy “Alphonsianum,” sheds a new light on the Theology of the Body debated started by the Christopher West interview on Dateline. In his interview West speaks of attempting to start a Catholic Sexual revolution saying we must fight fire with fire… but is this true? Many theologians and philosophers have been divided on this point. Alice Von Hildebrand holds that West’s view takes the sacredness out of the marital act. Janet Smith rather likes West’s style and believes that he is on the right track with regard to helping Catholics become more content in their own marriages. Fr. Faggioni has a different take on the subject. He expresses concern with some of the lengths and practices of West.

Fr. Faggioni explained that some of the issues discussed publicly by West, such as the appropriateness of anal sex or other forms of sexual “foreplay” in married relationships, have to be dealt with using great care, since “the risk is of displacing the attention from marital love and the anthropologic meaning of lovely gestures to merely the genital aspects.” Furthermore regarding the practice of blessing the genitals before a sexual relationship, Fr. Faggioni expressed “real perplexity”… “Without doubt, all the body in each one of its parts is God’s creation and deserves honor. We precisely respect our private parts by surrounding them with greater respect and modesty.” He continued, “Nothing forbids thanking God for the sexual body of oneself or the spouse, but from the perspective of Christian anthropology, it is not right to emphasize the genitals as if our sexuality could be reduced to them. Love is made with all the body, with the entire person’s humanity, not only with the genitals.” CNA

Fr. Faggioni is looking deeper into the West approach of Theology of the Body. Fr. Faggioni spoke of the ardent desire of the late Pope John Paul II’s desire to keep from trivializing sex or treating it puritanically. Still Christopher West’s work continues to grow and hundreds of Catholics are finding happiness in his understanding. This work of West is not infallible and is not exactly the work of JPII. So when one looks into West’s studies you must take this into consideration and know that there is a risk of loosing the beauty of the marital embrace to over emphasizing the genital aspects.

Obama Moved Against DOMA

(BP) “Calling it only ‘a start,’ President Obama signed a memorandum Wednesday giving homosexual partners of federal employees some of the benefits of married employees -- a move intended to appease the homosexual community but that ended up pleasing neither that constituency nor the other side of the same-sex debate.” The movement of President is no surprise as he is the most liberal president in history. He wishes to abolish any act to protect marriage and remove the power of the state. “The Defense of Marriage Act has two main parts -- one pertaining to the federal government and the other referencing the states. DOMA actually protects the right of states to determine social policy with respect to marriage," Byron Babione, an attorney with the Alliance Defense Fund, a legal group which opposes "gay marriage," told BP "it allows states the freedom to protect marriage between a man and a woman and not to have the same-sex marriages of other states imposed upon them. … Repealing DOMA actually does the opposite of protecting states' rights. … Repealing of DOMA also would do untold damage to the benefits that marriage brings to society. It would open the way to defining marriage and its value out of existence.” The Christians groups are rallying together to fight changes made to the rights of married people, and more effort needs to be made to stop President Obama from relinquishing state’s rights.

Cardinal of Vienna Presents, Not Necesarrily Supports

“In the Vatican, Card. Schönborn also presented the so-called "Initiative of the lay faithful" (Laieninitiative), a petition by relevant Austrian Catholics launched earlier this year, which asks for the abolition of compulsory celibacy, the return to activity of married priests, the opening of the diaconate to women, and the ordination of [married] 'viri probati'.” -ASCA

People are heralding that Card. Schönborn is supporting married priesthood and women in the deaconate, but this is very unclear. The Vatican news has only revealed that at the urging of the Austrian people Card. Schönborn has presented the ‘Initiative of the lay faithful.’ This really opens the question: should there be a married priesthood as in the Byzantine Rite? Is the vocation of the priesthood able to be carried out properly by a man with a family? One must look at the position of a pastor as the Father of His parish or in a monastery in the monastic life; their lives are dedicated to God fully. The byzantine rite allows priests to be married, and they are dedicated to God. I do not have an answer to this question, are byzantine priests who are married less devoted than those who are solely devoted to God. I look to the wisdom of the Vatican and the insight of priests who have more insight into these questions; furthermore it is interesting that this petition was brought by the lay people and not a collective effort of the clergy. Does this reveal who would like a married priesthood? Women’s ordination is another question, ordinations have been exclusively male, and would this change hurt the natural order and nature of the clergy? I am sure these are all questions that are going to addressed by the Vatican.

Friendship For a better Relationship

Anthony Buono, married with seven children; is the founder and president of Ave Maria Singles and Road to Cana . He has some great insight on the importance of married couples (particularly women) having a good supply of friends of their own sex to share in different ways to better their relationship with their spouse. Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus is not to far off according to Buono. He wants to help men and women realize how their differences are not bad and couples do not have to share every waking second. He urges: "Women must not put so much pressure on a man to be a conversational friend they need. Men do need to talk more to women. Women need to have conversation. They need to know what’s going on inside. Many times a man does not even know himself enough inside to share himself. Women must be patient about that. Typically, women find this in another woman. That’s why there are so many happy marriages where each spouse has their same-sex friends. These friendships outside the couple enhance the person and make them better spouses to each other. Don't give up on a good man who defines who he is by his actions. Just because he does not talk as much as you would like does not mean he would not make a good husband and father. Make sure you have friends who make you a better person, and take that betterment and bring it faithfully into dating and marital friendship. "

To read the rest of this story: Friendship as a Man

US Legislature Cannot Alter Marriage

No matter how many legislators try to invent “same-sex marriage” they cannot. Marriage is a sacrament; it is instituted by God and under the Catholic Church not the United States Legislature. Marriage is a sacrament that is validated by the consent of the man and woman in the presence of God. No matter how many states legalize “so-called same-sex marriage;” they cannot validate it in the eyes of God. These legislators may give these couples tax breaks, and work benefits; but only God can bestow the graces of holy matrimony. Anything less than a sacramental marriage just is not a marriage. You can call “same-sex-marriage” whatever you want, but it will not magically change into a real sacramental marriage. This is not in the power of the legislature.
http://www.wten.com/Global/story.asp?S=10471655&nav=menu30_1